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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Where the hell have I been?

So where have I been. Not really sure to be honest. I think about writing daily, and I have days where I feel like I have so much to say to my BRCA world and other days where I just feel silent.

It has been about 7 months since PBM and there are days where I feel like this all did not happen and days I think about it alot.

I am focusing alot on exercising and slowly trying to rebuild stregnth in my uppper body. Something I have noticed is pretty absent. I used to love to move furniture and now I have my 4 year old helping me push and pull. That seems to be my weakest area. I also feel like I need to be so careful pulling a muscle.

I am getting back alot of sensation in my chest, back and underarm. It is soo random though. I also still struggle a bit with this feeling of itching from the inside. It is not relievable either, which is so frustrating. This usually happens when I have done a bit too much! Such as exercising.

On a positive note. I have found that my own experience with this BRCA life has allowed me to help others in my profession. Patients and providers. I most recently had a patient who was experiences a lot of pain that she just could not explain. She did have breast cancer and was undergoing treatment, but she also had a bilateral mastectomy. Because her description was what I have experienced I was able to talk with her and treat her more efficiently. And she was so grateful for my understanding of what she was goign through. I did not tell her that I had a bilateral,but I may if the time is right.

I have only told two patients about my surgery. Those patients were people I felt needed to know and where searching for guidance, that genetics and it's choices are difficult but manageable.

Managable has been my experience with this whole process. I have seen the deep hole it can put you in because I certainly felt so lost in the beginning, but I have also seen and experienced that life goes on. It just has too!

Thanks for listening!


  1. Hi Kim,
    I was thinking of you and happened to check in. So glad that you are managing. Let me know when you are ready for some temporary nipple tattoos and I will send them out. They are awesome! The feedback from users has been fascinating, such as "thank you for making me feel beautiful again." Check out my upgraded web site at

  2. New to your blog, good to hear that things are improving. Stay strong!