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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Where the hell have I been?

So where have I been. Not really sure to be honest. I think about writing daily, and I have days where I feel like I have so much to say to my BRCA world and other days where I just feel silent.

It has been about 7 months since PBM and there are days where I feel like this all did not happen and days I think about it alot.

I am focusing alot on exercising and slowly trying to rebuild stregnth in my uppper body. Something I have noticed is pretty absent. I used to love to move furniture and now I have my 4 year old helping me push and pull. That seems to be my weakest area. I also feel like I need to be so careful pulling a muscle.

I am getting back alot of sensation in my chest, back and underarm. It is soo random though. I also still struggle a bit with this feeling of itching from the inside. It is not relievable either, which is so frustrating. This usually happens when I have done a bit too much! Such as exercising.

On a positive note. I have found that my own experience with this BRCA life has allowed me to help others in my profession. Patients and providers. I most recently had a patient who was experiences a lot of pain that she just could not explain. She did have breast cancer and was undergoing treatment, but she also had a bilateral mastectomy. Because her description was what I have experienced I was able to talk with her and treat her more efficiently. And she was so grateful for my understanding of what she was goign through. I did not tell her that I had a bilateral,but I may if the time is right.

I have only told two patients about my surgery. Those patients were people I felt needed to know and where searching for guidance, that genetics and it's choices are difficult but manageable.

Managable has been my experience with this whole process. I have seen the deep hole it can put you in because I certainly felt so lost in the beginning, but I have also seen and experienced that life goes on. It just has too!

Thanks for listening!