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family tree

Monday, August 16, 2010


I'm feeling frustrated and guilty still today. Mondays is normally a day that I am home with the two kids myself; my day off of work. Well these days have turned out to be extremely difficult during recovery. My husband returns to work tomorrow, and he has basically hit a wall taking care of all three of us constantly. Sitting in my bed or on the couch "recovering" is nearly impossible when you see the stress in my husband's eyes. He is doing an amazing job, but I need him to stay strong and confident in is ability to handle all this.

My son, who I expected, is having a difficult time with all the changes. He is having nightmares, does not like school anymore, and is really misbehaving in all areas. He is only four, and he is so sensitive and intuitive to change. So of course this is stressful for both my husband and I. We of course worry about our kids. And when you can't fix it, change it, or make it better the guilt sets in again. Then in my head I blame myself for all those around me struggling. Ridiculous, I know!

And honestly, I should be taking care of me right now! How quickly it is forgotten that mommy has booboos and still should not be doing half the stuff I am. Oh well! I'm aloud to have a bit of a pity party too!

Well tomorrow will hopefully be a new and better day!

Stay strong my BRCA friends!

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